View Full Version : Excuses on why your eyes' are/were red.

Black Dahlia
04-19-2010, 12:43 AM
everyone tell a story you've had about the best excuses on why your eyes are red. I don't know if this topics been posted before, but whatever man. lol

Shall we start with mine? (:

i live at home with my parents, and one of my chores were to clean the bathroom. Everyone knows that job sucks ass, so i decided to get high before. my parents are stoners too, so i decided to smoke in the bathroom and clean right after to hide the amazing smell of marijuana. (:
After I finished cleaning, my mom asked me why my eye were red and i told her because i sprayed Windex in my eyes on accident and laughed really hard after. Yeah dude she knew. :rofl:

Crispy Critter
04-19-2010, 12:44 AM
I have a sound excuse. I work 3rd shift I'm fucking tired.....

04-19-2010, 12:46 AM
My parents were home so I went outside to smoke a joint. I smoked it came back and my mom told me dinner was ready. My dumb hungry ass decided to just put in refreshing eye drops which dont get rid of red eyes at all. So i sit down at the dinner table and my dad was like why are your eyes red. And i said oh I think its allergies. I dont have allergies though. :rofl:

04-19-2010, 01:00 AM
Because I'm high

04-19-2010, 01:01 AM
i got cum in them

04-19-2010, 01:01 AM
Dude I got a shit ton of excuse :rofl:

When I was still at my mom's, I went outside to smoke a joint, I had a great time, then I walk inside, my mom looks at me and says "Why are your eye so red? Did smoke marijuana outside?" and I was like "Yeah mom, I'm a total pothead, thats why I eat all sorts of random stuff late in the night" then she says "Yeah right, can you go get me some milk?"

That's how it's supposed to be done bro

Into The Void
04-19-2010, 01:02 AM
I usually say I got something in them
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04-19-2010, 01:08 AM
I usually say I got something in them
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yeah...like cum

04-19-2010, 02:02 AM
that i was takin a big shit and almost got a brain aneurysm :lick: jk i dont need an exuse if my eyes are red cuz they arent and if they are im more ripped then someones asshole after 20 years in jail

AntiVirus Delta-9
04-19-2010, 02:19 AM
Allergies whenever an excuse is deemed necessary.

dank nug
04-19-2010, 05:19 AM
yeah...like cum

you too?


04-19-2010, 07:56 AM
tired/dry contacts, repeatedly rubbing my eyes to itch/relieve them

04-19-2010, 09:31 AM
Lol, tell them you were beatin off like a fuckin madman, then bam! Your wang pulled a surprise attack on ya and spit in ur eye, they'll forget all about a little pot hahaha oh man unless your mom was all, "that doesn't give red eyes honey" haha ohkay I'm done
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04-19-2010, 10:36 AM
i either say i just woke up cuz i work late (all bs lol) or i say that my allergies are messing with me (im highly allergic to pollen)

04-19-2010, 11:17 AM
I usually just say I'm tired because I didn't sleep too well.

Green Dude
04-19-2010, 11:42 AM
i got cum in them

maybe its just me, but i dont find that funny.

04-19-2010, 11:57 AM
tired/dry contacts, repeatedly rubbing my eyes to itch/relieve them

thisssssssssssssssssss, if an excuse is needed. Usually i just tell people i am really high

04-19-2010, 04:29 PM
I don't use one, I don't like having to try and hide my high. I enjoy it and when I gotta try and hide it, it kills it. If I'm high and you don't like it, don't say shit. If you want to smoke some of it, lets smoke! lol.

04-19-2010, 05:08 PM
mom: "why are your eyes so red?"
me: "i was matching blunts with the rev. Jesse Jackson"
mom: "oh..."

04-19-2010, 05:18 PM
I say i was resisting arrest and police pepper sprayed me usually works

04-19-2010, 05:51 PM
I was pouring salt in my eyes.
I ran out of eyedrops.

04-19-2010, 09:43 PM
I usually go with sleep deprivation and dry contacts. haha. I'm quite a terrible liar though.

04-19-2010, 09:56 PM
some time ago i stopped trimming my fringe so i could see things without having to move my hair aside cos the trouble of cutting every week or so ended up looking massive in comparison to the trouble of looking thru some hair so these days nobody can see my eyes at all, unless i brush or otherwise part my hair.. little while ago tho i had to tell my mum things such as, i've been walking against the wind and it's been hitting my eyes (i really do have sensitive eyes, they become red and teary on a windy day) or i'd tell my parents that it's just symptomatic of fatigue and nothing to worry about really.. they're smart people tho and it's very difficult to lie to them so i stopped insulting their intelligence that way a while ago, try not to lie to them these days, if i cant tell them the truth i wont tell them anything.. it's not perfect but it's a start.. it would be preferable for them to just accept that i'm a good person, i just maybe have some bad habits.. dont think that's going to happen anytime soon tho.. well i mean they know i'm basically a good person, but they would prefer me to never smoke weed again, and i dont want things to end up that way cos that would be a tragedy

04-19-2010, 10:08 PM
"My car's AC was just recharged dries out the air like a MF" Worked a few times already

Triple Perc
04-20-2010, 09:05 AM
your tired.
your hung over.
you have a migraine
you suffer from dry eyes
you have severe allergy.
your tear ducts are fucked up.
you've been crying.

i've used every excuse when I had a job

04-20-2010, 07:18 PM
tired, got soap in ur eyes, got something else in ur eyes (cum), allergies

04-20-2010, 07:39 PM
Because it's 420.


04-20-2010, 08:23 PM
dry eyes, allergies, crying, got poked, wind from my windows being down, im tired.

usually all you have to say is why do you care, its really none of your business - unless its parents, which then i go with one of the above

04-23-2010, 12:02 AM
I tell everyone, like my bos, friends, certain teachers that im just rele ripped. my parents...i just tell em im tired or my alllergies were fuckin with me

04-23-2010, 12:11 AM
Global Warming....

Gravity... Jonas Brothers

04-24-2010, 09:27 PM
i always say im tired or just woke up from a nap

or the light is to bright/dim

04-24-2010, 09:39 PM
I don't like having to try and hide my high. I enjoy it and when I gotta try and hide it, it kills it. If I'm high and you don't like it, don't say shit. If you want to smoke some of it, lets smoke! lol.

is it, and my parents know/dont care that i smoke so they never question me anyways

04-24-2010, 09:59 PM
Well i have a pretty good story lol it was the scariest time of my life, well me and my friend got some pretty good bud(lemon skunk and colorado medical) and we went to my buddies house and we smoked it all and i know you shouldnt drive high, but i actually do it alot and it is no different than me driving sober except im a better driver high im alot more cautious. but i was almost home when i see lights coming, i was like oh shit, it was a friday night and he pulled me over and told me he pulled me over cause my license light was out, then he asked what i've been doing tonight, i was very nervous lol and sounded like a dumbass when i said i was just hanging out with my friend at my friends house then he asked me if im been drinking at all tonight and i said no and he asked a few times, then the question that deff scared the shit out of me when he asked me to step out of the car. so he made me get in his car and he turned on a big ass dome light that was about as bright as the sun lol and he said is there a reason why your eyes are so red? I had no idea what to say so the first thing that popped in my mind was that my friends were smoking cigs and i guess thats why. i ended up just getting a warning for my light it was pretty intense lol:3465497df7c6a6:

04-24-2010, 10:01 PM
Wow, that would have scared me soo bad...

but one time when my friends mom asked me why my eyes were so red i just said i was really tired lol

04-24-2010, 10:51 PM
i jus got out the shower nd soap got in my eyes

04-27-2010, 09:08 PM
If anyone actually asks me, I'd say I was crying.
People usually leave you alone or give you a hug. :D

04-27-2010, 09:59 PM
Alright I got one.

One night me and 2 of my freinds smoked a l and were feeling pretty high. So I have to go home like 20 mins later and before i leave they look at my eyes and say they are fine and i go inside. I am acting normal, making dinner with the family. without anyone saying anything. After making dinner we sit at the table and start eating when my sister asks me why my eyes are so red (shes 19). I was just like "i dont know i was in the cold all day" and kept acting normal and looking people in the eyes. My dad didnt say anything and left it at that.

04-27-2010, 10:03 PM
"I spilled red food dye in them."

04-28-2010, 12:05 AM
"Why are your eyes so white huh, expand your colors, fuckin racist"
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04-28-2010, 12:59 AM
Wow, that would have scared me soo bad...

but one time when my friends mom asked me why my eyes were so red i just said i was really tired lol

i was told by my fiances dad that i either looked really stoned or looked like i needed to get stoned

04-28-2010, 01:28 AM
my turn.

ok so a few months ago i got super duper high before headin out to school like i always do and i forgot to put clear eyes in. so i get into 1st period and immediatly get a call down to the school therapists office (dad had recently passed on and they were making me see her daily for some bullshit reason). so i get into her office and the first thing she askes me is why my eyes are so bloodshot (i then remembered that i didnt put in the clear eyes). i just go "ummmmmmm". so in my head im just like fuck wat do i say. before i could think of anything she says "you dont have to give me an excuse, i know youve been crying." so i just go along with that and get the hell outta there.
thought i was gonna be fucked

05-12-2010, 10:07 PM
Last year when my grandma was sick my whole family stayed at the house for weeks. My dad and I got in a heated fight so my cousin and I went to the McDonald's down the street and took a walk in the little woods behind it and smoked a blunt. I kept asking her if my eyes were red on the way home, I could feel that they were, but she just reassured me that they weren't. When I got home, apparently my eyes WERE red, and my mom thought I had been crying so she just gave me a huge hug and didn't say a word and my cousin had to leave the room because she couldn't stop laughing. Lucky? Yes. Time for another blunt? Yes! :sifone:

05-12-2010, 10:08 PM
i just tell em that its really windy and that i was walking into the wind, and i got windburn
works every time

05-12-2010, 10:14 PM
I just got done crying over your lack of understanding of my one true love...weed.

Sleeping Fish
05-12-2010, 10:21 PM
i was dropping lsd onto my eyes

or i accidentally got cum in them

05-12-2010, 10:22 PM
It's my contacts....the one time when I was happy my vision sucks

05-12-2010, 10:22 PM
just say "i was partaking in the smoking of cannabis"

they aint got a fuckin time machine

devils son
05-13-2010, 06:16 AM
I accidently sprayed deodrant in my eye

06-04-2010, 09:44 AM
Found out this week you can get a sunburn on your eyes. Sounds like a pretty good excuse.

Eye Sunburn | Sunburn Expert (http://www.sunburnexpert.com/eye-sunburn/)

06-04-2010, 09:53 AM
Its a fashion statement. Im trendy like that

06-04-2010, 09:55 AM
Me and like 5 of my friends smoke before school one day and got high as fuck. When we came in we smelled like big weed and the principal noticed. So he took us all to his office and we all had our own excuses why our eyes were red. One said he didn't get enough sleep, one said he was sick, one said he had pink eye, but we all just kept denying it so we got away.

06-04-2010, 10:28 AM
Haha, so one of the last days of the semester (spring) my friends and I had just smoked like 2 or 3 bong packs, then went outside for a cig. When we came back in, our RA was in the hall and she stares at us (we had all gone to the bathroom and just been exclaiming how fucked our eyes were) and I say to her, "Im the devil's son, this is TOTALLY natural." And I walked away.

FUCK HER (she was a cunt).

06-04-2010, 03:22 PM
I always have eye drops on me, so I dont have to worry about parents or police when Im driven. If im not driven, and not around my parents, then I dont give a shit if my eyes are red. If anyone asks Ill tell em because Im high as shit, and if anyone just calls me out for being high I tell them to fuck off.

06-04-2010, 03:35 PM
lol everyone knows i smoke so its not a big deal.

BUt back in the day i used to just say i had been rubbing my eyes lol

Tha Carolina Kid
06-04-2010, 03:35 PM
its summer....say u been swimmin in the pool is the best

06-04-2010, 03:53 PM
^Hell yea!

Eye drops dont always work for me. And when they do, it takes a good 15 minutes or so which sucks cause I usually all like "oh shit we just rolled up to your moms house and I gotta clear my eyes up RIGHT NOW" which doesnt work

06-04-2010, 07:19 PM
wouldn't getting cum in your eyes make them white?

06-04-2010, 07:24 PM
i usually say i poked my eye with my eyeliner. simple but it works.
during the day i have sunglasses on bc i get headaches easily from
sunlight so i can be high all day outside and no would know. :]

06-04-2010, 07:53 PM
i usually said "its late, im tired ma'" or "i drank a little bit and its 3 in the mornin' ma" or "its the chlorine in the pool pa" or "i just woke up from a nap ma" or " i just puked a little, chill ma" and finally " i just got a little soap in my eyes when i took a shower"..all pretty decent excuses without telling them im blitzed out of my mind

06-04-2010, 09:24 PM
jsut say a chick with cooch herpes squirted herpe juice n yo eye.. yeah :dance:

06-04-2010, 11:29 PM
i always say i got pinkeye, then i bust the ROTOs

06-05-2010, 12:45 AM

"Why are your eyes red?" "cause the pooooooooooooool didn't like them"

06-05-2010, 12:55 AM
you wanna know the truth motha?
i was at Walmart and i hit this midget on the head with a coconut by accident so he kicked me in the shin, i chased after him and fell into a pit of pepper spray... they should buy that